Dear Birds,
The summer has begun, very slowly it seems. Time has gone by since the last time we really had any issues, especially having moved into a much larger house. Let’s just be honest, shall we? Having you in your bird room has been total heaven, of course except when those instances I walk by you when you are on your parrot stands and you insist on flinging food at my head. I find it rude, not only because it frightens me but because it makes a mess!
Our owners work very hard at keeping the Manor clean and you’re not helping. I’m not trying to damper your artistic vision but trying to become the next Picasso by tossing your food at my head or the wall isn’t going to work. I’ve heard humans refer to parrots as a “blender with the top off” but this is getting ridiculous.
In previous letters I have addressed your calling my name and scolding me, but with the two Miniature Schnauzers who also live here, it’s getting confusing. They don’t know you’re kidding. Yelling, “No!” and “Come here” or “Wanna go outside” would be confusing for the average dog. Maybe you’re playing your mind games again, and possibly on purpose. Either way, not cool.
So in closing this letter to you Dexter, Cooper, Cleo and little Hugo I would appreciate keeping your vocalizations to something directed at the masters of the Manor and also please stop using my head as target practice. I don’t appreciate fresh vegetables and fruits getting intermingled with my fur.
Until next time,
Sheldon
